7 Signs That Your Date Is a Dud
Do You Date Losers? At some point, all of us have been in the position of falling completely in love with someone despite several warning signs being in our face. Dating a loser may lead to months, if not years, of annoyance, perplexity, crying, and outbursts. It may also harm you physically or emotionally and have a lasting impact on your ability to form new connections.
The warning indicators are simple to identify, however. Which of those will you choose to implement?
1. He declares his love for you too soon.
Typically, losers are quite ready to declare their love for you. Within a few weeks of dating, he'll often start discussing the long term. He could even bring up moving in, starting a family, or even making a marriage proposal. You won't believe this, but on our very first date together, a possible suitor told me he loved me!
While all of this is really gratifying, you should take a step back and consider whether this behavior is congruent with that of a typical, well-adjusted person. Yes, whirlwind romances are a thing, and we've all heard of them, but they are the exception rather than the rule.
What makes a loser do this, then? If he genuinely doesn't love you forever, why would he trick you by saying it? If he has no intention of carrying things through, why would you spend your time formulating future plans?
In reality, he doesn't really care about anything you say. He inhabits a make-believe universe in which nothing is real. A loser may fall in and out of love on a whim and have highly flimsy emotions.
2. He blows cold and hot air.
He either loves me or doesn't. You could abruptly stop hearing from a loser after they had been phoning and messaging you every day for days or weeks. Out of nowhere, he appears as you start to rebuild your life. He acts as if nothing occurred and anticipates that you will continue where you left off in your relationship.
You experience a mental and emotional roller coaster as a result of this. At some point in your life, you could even start to doubt your own sanity and wonder whether you're insane. One item in particular has to be kept in mind at this stage. He is acting in an unreasonable manner, not you.
3. He is unpopular with your family and friends.
Realizing, or even admitting to yourself, that you are dating a loser is not always simple. Your relatives and friends could notice the warning signals and attempt to let you know that they are worried. However, you are unaware of the problems people bring up and dismiss their concerns without giving them a second consideration. Since their opinions are often far more objective than yours, there is a serious risk involved in doing this.
You should definitely consider it a warning sign when your loved ones express disapproval of the person you are seeing. Keep in mind that they adore you and just want the best for you. They can see how he treats you, however. They can see how it affects you. They can see how being with this person has turned you into a pale imitation of who you once were.
Do not criticize them for being upfront with you. Consider the matter from their point of view. Don't forget that even after the loser has gone, they are the very individuals who will be there for you and help you pick up the pieces.
4. His words do not correspond to his actions.
A loser usually says one thing and does the exact opposite. He also enjoys lying, but sometimes in a terrible way. Nevertheless, even if he is exposed for lying, he will never acknowledge it. He will never own that he was lying; at most, he will acknowledge that there was a "misunderstanding."
The loser will start to postpone dates or even not show up at all as time goes on. He will continually make promises that he won't follow through on. He will claim to love you, yet he will treat you like the sole of his shoe. He could even start to hurt you physically. Regardless of whatever heartfelt apologies he may provide at this time, you must go.
5. He Is Self-Aware
A loser is egotistical and solely concerned about himself and his reputation. He can't pass a mirror without examining himself. Additionally, he enjoys talking about himself, and until you compliment him, he seldom lets you speak. He shows very little interest in your life, your friends, family, job, or your hobbies. It is your responsibility to improve his self-esteem rather than to occupy him with the details of your daily activities.
A loser usually uses social media heavily and posts pictures of himself all the time. He will pay special attention to the number of "likes" and kind remarks from his fans. It is quite unlikely that he will include any pictures of you. He does not want anybody to take the spotlight from him.
6. Your Emotions Are Irrelevant
Losers lack empathy and don't take the time to think about how their actions may influence other people. He is also never incorrect since he cannot tolerate criticism. As a consequence, any effort on your behalf to confront his wrongdoings would only make him feel resentful or sorry for himself. As a consequence, you could even start rationalizing his conduct.
A loser will publicly belittle and humiliate you in front of others. He will make every attempt to diminish your value so that he may feel superior to you. You are now simpler to manage. You will ultimately get to the point when you mistrust your own abilities and feel unworthy. A loser wants you to be here, precisely where you are. He does not want you to be successful in anything since then you would be superior to him. He is covertly arranging for you to be unsuccessful in whatever you do.
A loser will often insist on covering all costs at the beginning of your relationship. This is done to make you feel uneasy, so do not fall for it. This is just a ploy to get you to think that he is financially stable. A loser is often one who relies heavily on credit. He struggles with money management and often owes a lot of money. Additionally, he has a strong feeling of entitlement, which causes him to live above his means.
He'll start to milk you for all you're worth, slowly but definitely. He can start by taking out little loans and claiming to have "cash flow" issues. He may even pay them back at first. This is a modest symbolic action meant just to boost your confidence so you'll feel more comfortable handing him more money. A loser will consider you to be his own personal ATM and may even feel entitled to your money.
Never, ever give money to a loser, and under no circumstances should you take out a loan or co-sign for him. You truly do not need to experience both heartache and financial trouble.
How to Remove a Loser from Your Life
The issue with being profoundly, passionately in love with someone is that you can't or won't admit your partner's flaws due to your intense infatuation. Realizing that you are dating a loser might be difficult, let alone admitting it to yourself. Consider instituting a period of no contact if you are having trouble moving beyond it.
The most crucial thing to keep in mind is that you are not the issue. You could even find out if your spouse has a history of acting badly. He could possibly be a narcissist or, worse still, suffer from borderline personality disorder.
In the end, you'll realize that one of the challenges of dating a loser is that they are not always that easy to get rid of. When you start to distance yourself from them in an effort to break up with them, they generally come after you again. Please keep in mind that although this could give you the impression that you made a mistake, it's not always an indication that you did. Just make sure you view the loser for who he is and not for who you want him to be.
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